A Glasgow lawyer went duck hunting in rural Aberdeenshire. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of the fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove upon his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field and now I’m going to retrieve it”.
The old farmer Peter replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here”.
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial lawyers in Scotland and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sure you and take everything you own”.
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in Mintlaw. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule'”.
The lawyet asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?”
The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on, back and forth until someone gives up”.
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger.
He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from his tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff send the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all four’s when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get on his feet. Wiping his face with arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay you old fart. Now its my turn”.
( I just love this part )
The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah I give up. You can have the duck”.
When you are educated, you’ll believe only half of what you hear.
When you are intelligent, you know which half.!!.